shane was absent. and ava went to a college fair thing during lunch.
as such nobody else cared about our table-shifting experiment. must test this out further.
though I do have an interesting bit of news regarding our newspaper: ava and emma have both volunteered to write short stories for the paper. this would be no problem, really, if emma hadn't.. thought of something.
they have somehow decided to collaborate and write a story together with two main characters. one for each of them to control. okay. this would not be a problem if the two of them were rational 100% of the time, or even 96% of the time. unfortunately for us all, they aren't. they are both control freaks when it comes to their writing.
as I said to c, I would be willing to make monetary bets that before the end of the year we get at least one "OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY CHARACTER".
please excuse my brevity, I'm trying to outline my november.
Showing posts with label we've got a bigger problem now. Show all posts
Showing posts with label we've got a bigger problem now. Show all posts
13.10.10
suicide mission #4385098483724
the psats were today. emma actually came into school for the first time in ten years. I am astounded.
the main reasoning as to this posting is a certain little experiment c did last week. we went down to our free block [not our study period, our freeeee block] in the cafeteria, and she just didn't talk. she communicated entirely through nodding and shrugging and sighing.
and the thing is--nobody noticed. I don't mean either of us were expecting someone to latch on and say "OH C, YOU'RE NOT TALKING, SOMETHING MUST BE WRONG". I mean conversations went on as normal and everyone talked at her. since when she's not actually offering any semblance of an opinion, it pretty much cements her role as Huggable Teddy Bear.
c repeated this for a couple days. finally ava noticed because c "didn't even help [her] with [her] homework". the self-centeredness of most of this table amazes me.
aaaand so we have decided that that is the end of the bullshit. we're doing the unthinkable tomorrow. changing lunch tables.
OH NO. according to high school tradition this must mean we hate our table and are planning on shooting them up!!! GASP.
cheap teenage melodrama, m1k3y.
expect a post later tomorrow night [I'll have c slap me if I don't do it. I have to go to the town offices tomorrow after school to fill out a ton of paperwork... what have I gotten myself into]. I want to see how this goes. I really do. I hope neither of us explodes or is stabbed.
oh, and I need to blog about the ring fail too! shit. well, another day. I can't cram every sucky school event into one post, now, can I?
the main reasoning as to this posting is a certain little experiment c did last week. we went down to our free block [not our study period, our freeeee block] in the cafeteria, and she just didn't talk. she communicated entirely through nodding and shrugging and sighing.
and the thing is--nobody noticed. I don't mean either of us were expecting someone to latch on and say "OH C, YOU'RE NOT TALKING, SOMETHING MUST BE WRONG". I mean conversations went on as normal and everyone talked at her. since when she's not actually offering any semblance of an opinion, it pretty much cements her role as Huggable Teddy Bear.
c repeated this for a couple days. finally ava noticed because c "didn't even help [her] with [her] homework". the self-centeredness of most of this table amazes me.
aaaand so we have decided that that is the end of the bullshit. we're doing the unthinkable tomorrow. changing lunch tables.
OH NO. according to high school tradition this must mean we hate our table and are planning on shooting them up!!! GASP.
cheap teenage melodrama, m1k3y.
expect a post later tomorrow night [I'll have c slap me if I don't do it. I have to go to the town offices tomorrow after school to fill out a ton of paperwork... what have I gotten myself into]. I want to see how this goes. I really do. I hope neither of us explodes or is stabbed.
oh, and I need to blog about the ring fail too! shit. well, another day. I can't cram every sucky school event into one post, now, can I?
10.9.10
new, improved, and no longer defunct!
...the academy's horrendous grocery-store-sale-flyer-resembling school newspaper, that is. way back in may or so, c and I came up with a plan to restart it--we'd been on the staff in freshman year and then the whole thing fell apart. our faculty adviser [whom c tells me we should call ms. butler] approved highly, and so the plan was set into motion. fast forward to yesterday.
[note: this was during our half-hour break in between periods 3 and 5. it is not lunch. lunch is in between 6 and 7. it sounds like a scheduling derp but it's actually quite awesome.]
A Conversation Straight From The Gay Table
me: "sorry we're late..."
ava: "WHERE WERE YOU GUYS?"
[she was really mad we missed being in the cafeteria for fourth period yesterday. ok, can I help it if I needed to "decorate" my locker and c takes approximately a year to pack up for any given class? but I promised ava that c and I would be in the caf. I kind of forgot we needed to talk to ms. butler. and yes, ava was literally yelling.]
c: "sorry, we had to go see ms. butler."
ava: "WHO'S MS. BUTLER?"
me: "exactly..."
[ms. butler doesn't actually teach anything. she sits in an office all day and does... something for the school. I don't know what.]
c: we're starting up the newspaper again.
ava: you guys have a newspaper? [slightly glares] what's it called, music weekly?
[OH PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE YOU ARE BACK]
we made an effort to explain that it was the school newspaper and would not involve any musical selections circa 1989 if we could help it. she brightened at this, then asked if she could help, "unless you guys DON'T WANT ME TO [/gloom]". this is where we made the mistake of being all "oh sure you can help!!"
she then promptly decided she was going to TAKE THE FUCK OVER.
ava: "can I write? well, I don't want to write. I want to write whatever I want and can I also read people's articles like to see if they flooow?"
c: "ava, that's what an editor does."
I would have let her have the editor position. I really would. except I have a clear, fulfillable ambition for what I want to do when I grow up, unlike the fucking gay table. I really, really want to be an editor. and I have a talent for it, I KNOW this. know what else this ties into? the academy's drama club. I know that sounds like a tangent, but bear with me here. I love working on stage crew. I have stage manager power, and I'm pretty damn good at not freaking out too much. ava has also been on stage crew at the academy. she's been specially trained to do the lighting, while I'm Official Stage Manager. guess what position she wants? stage manager. why? because I have it. now, can you imagine her as a stage manager? "GUYS LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME! [screaming] FUCKING LISTEN TO ME! OH MY GOD FUCK YOU ALL, YOU DON'T FUCKING LISTEN TO ME, THIS IS TOO HARD! OH MY GOD, NO ONE HAS ANY RESPECT FOR ME, JEEEESUS WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU?"
now I'll draw it back to the point. I am the editor. she wants my position because she can't have it and she knows it. but hell if she doesn't try. from a note c wrote me in that same period:
if you want her to do anything just say you want to do it & she will.
I believe she would call this a "quirk". I also believe I would call it "obnoxious".
today was our club fair. in special school event terms it means the entire academy went to mass in our poorly-lit gym and then we all ate lunch on a grassy knoll [read: pavement, about ten square feet of dewy grass, and three picnic tables]. after that, it was time for a representative from each club to stand up and entice people to join by offering food. the newspaper will involve bribing people with food, but we didn't tell them that. also I think our announcement was a bit awkward [c, since you're the only one that reads this, I don't just mean your A/8 fuckup, I know I rambled too much and basically failed to express my point as desired], but, y'know, at least we taped up flyers.
the only thing is last night ava tried to micromanage the newspaper over facebook. oh christ. mind you, this was AFTER c and I spent two hours planning over the phone, and during that time we called her and offered her a position in advance. WHICH SHE DECLINED. and now she thinks she owns the paper. oh christ. spare me, will you? she gave both c and I the cold shoulder for most of the day, which failed to express anything.
except "christ, what an asshole".
[note: this was during our half-hour break in between periods 3 and 5. it is not lunch. lunch is in between 6 and 7. it sounds like a scheduling derp but it's actually quite awesome.]
A Conversation Straight From The Gay Table
me: "sorry we're late..."
ava: "WHERE WERE YOU GUYS?"
[she was really mad we missed being in the cafeteria for fourth period yesterday. ok, can I help it if I needed to "decorate" my locker and c takes approximately a year to pack up for any given class? but I promised ava that c and I would be in the caf. I kind of forgot we needed to talk to ms. butler. and yes, ava was literally yelling.]
c: "sorry, we had to go see ms. butler."
ava: "WHO'S MS. BUTLER?"
me: "exactly..."
[ms. butler doesn't actually teach anything. she sits in an office all day and does... something for the school. I don't know what.]
c: we're starting up the newspaper again.
ava: you guys have a newspaper? [slightly glares] what's it called, music weekly?
[OH PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE YOU ARE BACK]
we made an effort to explain that it was the school newspaper and would not involve any musical selections circa 1989 if we could help it. she brightened at this, then asked if she could help, "unless you guys DON'T WANT ME TO [/gloom]". this is where we made the mistake of being all "oh sure you can help!!"
she then promptly decided she was going to TAKE THE FUCK OVER.
ava: "can I write? well, I don't want to write. I want to write whatever I want and can I also read people's articles like to see if they flooow?"
c: "ava, that's what an editor does."
I would have let her have the editor position. I really would. except I have a clear, fulfillable ambition for what I want to do when I grow up, unlike the fucking gay table. I really, really want to be an editor. and I have a talent for it, I KNOW this. know what else this ties into? the academy's drama club. I know that sounds like a tangent, but bear with me here. I love working on stage crew. I have stage manager power, and I'm pretty damn good at not freaking out too much. ava has also been on stage crew at the academy. she's been specially trained to do the lighting, while I'm Official Stage Manager. guess what position she wants? stage manager. why? because I have it. now, can you imagine her as a stage manager? "GUYS LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME! [screaming] FUCKING LISTEN TO ME! OH MY GOD FUCK YOU ALL, YOU DON'T FUCKING LISTEN TO ME, THIS IS TOO HARD! OH MY GOD, NO ONE HAS ANY RESPECT FOR ME, JEEEESUS WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU?"
now I'll draw it back to the point. I am the editor. she wants my position because she can't have it and she knows it. but hell if she doesn't try. from a note c wrote me in that same period:
if you want her to do anything just say you want to do it & she will.
I believe she would call this a "quirk". I also believe I would call it "obnoxious".
today was our club fair. in special school event terms it means the entire academy went to mass in our poorly-lit gym and then we all ate lunch on a grassy knoll [read: pavement, about ten square feet of dewy grass, and three picnic tables]. after that, it was time for a representative from each club to stand up and entice people to join by offering food. the newspaper will involve bribing people with food, but we didn't tell them that. also I think our announcement was a bit awkward [c, since you're the only one that reads this, I don't just mean your A/8 fuckup, I know I rambled too much and basically failed to express my point as desired], but, y'know, at least we taped up flyers.
the only thing is last night ava tried to micromanage the newspaper over facebook. oh christ. mind you, this was AFTER c and I spent two hours planning over the phone, and during that time we called her and offered her a position in advance. WHICH SHE DECLINED. and now she thinks she owns the paper. oh christ. spare me, will you? she gave both c and I the cold shoulder for most of the day, which failed to express anything.
except "christ, what an asshole".
5.9.10
if it wasn't for your misfortune I'd be a heavenly person today
school starts on wednesday. I still have to read the jungle and write a "personal review" on it. I'm skimming it, I already know it sucks and I hate meat. oh well!
I've been discussing various matters with ava on facebook. she seems to have resolved her grudge against me by now [or at least she claims she has]. apparently Someone Did Something, and neither c nor I can figure out what the hell spawned this, but here. excerpts. and commentary.
ava: do you remember that tearful sleepover we had at my house? it's just... im afraid that it didn't do anything
sweet jesus, I'm thinking. what brought this on? and do we really need reminding?
I went to c and appropriately expressed my concerns that I didn't know what the fuck was going on.
c (10:12:25 PM): you don't have to tell her this, but you realize she probably could have learned a few things from that too
c (10:12:31 PM): like to not do what she's doing right now?
right c, right! didn't we actually tell her back then that WHAT SHE'S DOING IS BAD AND SHOULD BE AVOIDED?
and yet it continued.
ava: yeah but we aren't having the eventful five-way phone convos we used to have
me: every one of those from this summer has been because [shane] was planning something
ava: or the laughs that broke out with each other, or the obvious love between everybody at the table
sweet christ, I think I might be an evil person for wanting to shoot myself through this. I asked her about this "obvious love" and she elaborated nicely.
ava: was there love there? or was that the high school social bug that stung us all
me: uh... what? what are you even talking about, I don't get it. are you asdking about freshman year or sophoomore year?
ava: freshmen, the first three months were amazing
OH MY GOD, I thought here. SHE'S REPEATING EXACTLY WHAT SHE DID AT THE SLEEPOVER.
me: well, in freshman year we didn't even really know each other that well... not at the beginnign at least
ava: now we do and we all secretly hate each other
well fucking played.
the conversation then took a non sequitur path and we discussed why I so despise the rrpof, and then she did another non sequitur and said that c was awesome. then she came out with this gem:
ava: but im also worried about [mary]
me: [mary] is scarily obesssed wth [shane], yes. that is cause for alarm.
ava: she's in love with her, there's a difference
OH MY GOD, SHE'S SIXTEEN YEARS OLD. PLEASE CUT THIS CRAP.
the crap was eventually cut and the conversation turned to why ava wishes I was her closest friend. aw. in trying to do so she backhandedly insulted me. it was great. it eventually escalated into "I CAN'T MOVE ON!!!" in those exact words. I am so thrilled. she told c that she was "working it out, epic chick flick moment", but nothing was really happening over on my end. then ava and I made a Pact.
ava: i will try to be less angry and talk to you more
ava: but you have to stop blocking me out and know that i am here for you
ava: yes i know you are working on it
me: okay. thank you. that will work.
ava: but that is my demands, do you have any demands?
I thought about this and told her nicely to stop jumping someone else's train, namely mine. that segued into "but I really do like depeche mode, I find myself CRAVING it!" after that I gave up, which she took as a sign it was okay to send me more jesus metal shit.
---
C (10:59:38 PM): oh god. I will grant you that the people are... interesting, to use an [ava] phrase, but please don't start the "I CAN'T WAIT TO GET OUT OF THIS HELLHOLE" crap
L (11:00:23 PM): hahaha. trust me I won't. I do love [the academy]. it's the Interesting People that make me not want, that is all.
C (11:00:55 PM): hah. it is ok.
L (11:01:02 PM): which is why the blog is good, I guess. just so long as no one finds it
C (11:01:09 PM): yes. it is good.
L (11:01:38 PM): "heheheeeey, today my friends sucked. also now my blog can give you a seizure if you move your mouse too fast! I love life."
I've been discussing various matters with ava on facebook. she seems to have resolved her grudge against me by now [or at least she claims she has]. apparently Someone Did Something, and neither c nor I can figure out what the hell spawned this, but here. excerpts. and commentary.
ava: do you remember that tearful sleepover we had at my house? it's just... im afraid that it didn't do anything
sweet jesus, I'm thinking. what brought this on? and do we really need reminding?
I went to c and appropriately expressed my concerns that I didn't know what the fuck was going on.
c (10:12:25 PM): you don't have to tell her this, but you realize she probably could have learned a few things from that too
c (10:12:31 PM): like to not do what she's doing right now?
right c, right! didn't we actually tell her back then that WHAT SHE'S DOING IS BAD AND SHOULD BE AVOIDED?
and yet it continued.
ava: yeah but we aren't having the eventful five-way phone convos we used to have
me: every one of those from this summer has been because [shane] was planning something
ava: or the laughs that broke out with each other, or the obvious love between everybody at the table
sweet christ, I think I might be an evil person for wanting to shoot myself through this. I asked her about this "obvious love" and she elaborated nicely.
ava: was there love there? or was that the high school social bug that stung us all
me: uh... what? what are you even talking about, I don't get it. are you asdking about freshman year or sophoomore year?
ava: freshmen, the first three months were amazing
OH MY GOD, I thought here. SHE'S REPEATING EXACTLY WHAT SHE DID AT THE SLEEPOVER.
me: well, in freshman year we didn't even really know each other that well... not at the beginnign at least
ava: now we do and we all secretly hate each other
well fucking played.
the conversation then took a non sequitur path and we discussed why I so despise the rrpof, and then she did another non sequitur and said that c was awesome. then she came out with this gem:
ava: but im also worried about [mary]
me: [mary] is scarily obesssed wth [shane], yes. that is cause for alarm.
ava: she's in love with her, there's a difference
OH MY GOD, SHE'S SIXTEEN YEARS OLD. PLEASE CUT THIS CRAP.
the crap was eventually cut and the conversation turned to why ava wishes I was her closest friend. aw. in trying to do so she backhandedly insulted me. it was great. it eventually escalated into "I CAN'T MOVE ON!!!" in those exact words. I am so thrilled. she told c that she was "working it out, epic chick flick moment", but nothing was really happening over on my end. then ava and I made a Pact.
ava: i will try to be less angry and talk to you more
ava: but you have to stop blocking me out and know that i am here for you
ava: yes i know you are working on it
me: okay. thank you. that will work.
ava: but that is my demands, do you have any demands?
I thought about this and told her nicely to stop jumping someone else's train, namely mine. that segued into "but I really do like depeche mode, I find myself CRAVING it!" after that I gave up, which she took as a sign it was okay to send me more jesus metal shit.
---
C (10:59:38 PM): oh god. I will grant you that the people are... interesting, to use an [ava] phrase, but please don't start the "I CAN'T WAIT TO GET OUT OF THIS HELLHOLE" crap
L (11:00:23 PM): hahaha. trust me I won't. I do love [the academy]. it's the Interesting People that make me not want, that is all.
C (11:00:55 PM): hah. it is ok.
L (11:01:02 PM): which is why the blog is good, I guess. just so long as no one finds it
C (11:01:09 PM): yes. it is good.
L (11:01:38 PM): "heheheeeey, today my friends sucked. also now my blog can give you a seizure if you move your mouse too fast! I love life."
23.8.10
it all seems so STUPID
it makes me want to give up
but why should I give up when it all seems so stupid?
a few hours ago, I was sitting in the backseat of a car being driven by a straightedge punk with a social distortion hat and a neckbeard; in the passenger seat was his blue-haired madonna-loving goth girlfriend. that would be the family friends' duaghter and her boyfriend. interesting day indeed. we were all singing along to placebo's cover of "20th century boy", speeding down the highway. this is definitely the moment against which I will measure all other weird moments in the future.
anyway.
ava has heard everything counts again. her new thoughts on it:
I could turn this into "I'm a bitch for not being happy she likes one of my favorite songs" or I could turn this into, well... I don't know. I want to apologize to the spirit of depeche mode, somehow. I feel like the best way to do this is giving 101 lots and lots of love.
two more years. two more years. two. more. years.
this is a rare moment in which I am indirectly involved in something more than observing it. and I am fucking mad. really, really mad. I hate watching things not be appreciated, just... seen as something to go alongside lady gaga. I take music seriously because I haven't got much else to throw myself into. I hope you've enjoyed this rare display of emotion other than apathy or, as c says, sardonic amusement. I hope both for my sake and yours and for this blog's that it doesn't happen again for a good long time. if anyone can figure out what the new tag I just started stands for, you are either a genius or a stalker. congratulations!
but why should I give up when it all seems so stupid?
a few hours ago, I was sitting in the backseat of a car being driven by a straightedge punk with a social distortion hat and a neckbeard; in the passenger seat was his blue-haired madonna-loving goth girlfriend. that would be the family friends' duaghter and her boyfriend. interesting day indeed. we were all singing along to placebo's cover of "20th century boy", speeding down the highway. this is definitely the moment against which I will measure all other weird moments in the future.
anyway.
ava has heard everything counts again. her new thoughts on it:
i listened to depeche mode more
i actually like it better now
i was actually craving to listen to it more
it's like something you described it once
i didn't like it at first, but then i listened again and now i like it better
I could turn this into "I'm a bitch for not being happy she likes one of my favorite songs" or I could turn this into, well... I don't know. I want to apologize to the spirit of depeche mode, somehow. I feel like the best way to do this is giving 101 lots and lots of love.
two more years. two more years. two. more. years.
this is a rare moment in which I am indirectly involved in something more than observing it. and I am fucking mad. really, really mad. I hate watching things not be appreciated, just... seen as something to go alongside lady gaga. I take music seriously because I haven't got much else to throw myself into. I hope you've enjoyed this rare display of emotion other than apathy or, as c says, sardonic amusement. I hope both for my sake and yours and for this blog's that it doesn't happen again for a good long time. if anyone can figure out what the new tag I just started stands for, you are either a genius or a stalker. congratulations!
16.8.10
the international c hunt, part 3
so I've heard c has finally linked her forum here... well, hi guys. I did like talking to the two of you [annie and metz] I got to talk to in the hint-giving process. I was the anonymous commenter, creepy as that is. that's all. I just wanted to say hi. and warn you that c's and my friends are... kind of weird. I've been told you can handle weirdness, though.
oh, and in blog-related news, I've heard that shane is apparently returning to the academy next year. shit, now I have to un-cross her out on the cast page.
edit:
it's done. that was a useless edit.
oh, and in blog-related news, I've heard that shane is apparently returning to the academy next year. shit, now I have to un-cross her out on the cast page.
edit:
it's done. that was a useless edit.
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