OH GOD

is it wednesday already?! I swear to god I meant to post on sunday. junior year, you eat my free time [as does preparing for nanowrimo].

anyway, life seems to be going pretty well. at mass last friday, it rained like hell. turns out we actually had to walk across the street for mass, and not just up the stairs to our badly lit gym. that went all right[ish]. it would have gone perfectly except that the communion hymn was the prayer of st. francis set to music. and the poor middle school child they had chosen to sing it... really could not sing, to say the least. the only logical explanation that I can think of as to why they chose him was that he had some kind of terminal illness and it was his lifelong dream to sing the prayer of st. francis to a large group of jaded high school girls. even the teachers were trying not to laugh.

emma is sure as hell ahead on the Missing Days Of School counter. I haven't seen her face for at least a week now. shane, on the other hand, has come in every.. single.. day. and is loudly making her presence known.

mary is acting more rrpofy and windup-doll-y than usual. meanwhile, britney has given up on trying to ingratiate herself into the gay table. I knew it wouldn't last long.

finally, everyone's favorite ava is on an every-other-day cycle of being mad at yours truly. and expecting me to know exactly why without her ever looking at me, much less talking. oh, and then she's always fine the next morning. I LOVE BITCHY DRAMAAAAAA.

psats are coming up! yaaaaay! the english department is all happy about this. the math department is doing nothing, as usual. "god love you on the math section," our lit teacher said today. it is quite true.

I quit my grocery store job. I have never been happier, not even when I went to see pearl jam. well, maybe pearl jam beats being free of drudgery. at least I have my library job.

today mrs. theology told us not to swear in the hallway or anyone who happened to be around her was getting a detention. somehow I think this was directed at me. and yet she still has no clue who I am.

we have another weird church service on friday. no idea what the hell their reasoning is this time. hopefully I can remember to update my sad lonely blog.

oooh, and speaking of my sad lonely blog--we had an assembly on how facebook is bad and cyberbullying is bad and myspace is bad and taking pictures of yourself is bad [child pronography, kids] and basically the internet is for shit! I love my school.

failwagon!

WHAT THE HELL, GUYS? are you all serious? I am so not used to everyone speaking to each other in a friendly manner and nothing being on fire... christ, what is this?

last night mary called me to inform me that one of our many transfer students felt Left Out. mary knows her from middle school or something so she sits at our table, when really--she watches jersey shore and listens to the jonas brothers--she should be at a pvg table. she knows nothing of mary's shane-affair, which I find interesting. I mean, the whole school knows about it. there are like 180 people, it's not that hard to spread rumors. or facts, as the case is.

anyway I'm going to call said transfer student britney! after britney spears! [and also my annoying neighbor who thinks she can sing.] damn, I wish I could've called her mary, but my logic for calling mary mary was too good. [damn, I'll shut up.] in any case we had britney move to the middle of the lunch table so she was in the middle of all the conversations. it didn't really work, but at one point mary remarked "this is just like it was at the beginning of freshman year!" and right there I saw ava's eyes light up like she'd just gotten a bb gun on christmas. yeah yeah, dream on.

speaking of ava, I was thinking about giving her a short piece of my non-blog-related writing. before this week I hadn't given any of my writing to anyone, but then I gave c a bit of my nanowrimo piece and a short based on this song. ah... well, if it happens, she'll probably trash whatever it is anyway. I have to be careful.

OKAY THAT WAS A RAMBLE. sorry. here are some quick facts:

I'm hosting a sleepover next saturday. expect posting.

emma absences: 2
shane absences: 1

your move.

The urge to smile when your getting introuble.

please excuse the horrid spelling and grammar on that title. I did not write it. I shall explain.

since I've been so, ahem, doting on ava for the past few posts I thought it would be nice if I gave mary a chance to show off how contradictory and wtf-worthy she can be.

mary's hobby seems to be going on facebook and liking every single page that appears in her news feed. some of them are highly passive-aggressive towards shane, too, which are very funny, and some of them describe things she doesn't even do.

you'll see. I just went to her facebook page and holy god literally the whole thing is likes.

the farther you go back, the more links are broken. I've chosen some classy selections from the past week or so. I'll link to whatever I can, but I can't make any promises.

yelling RAPE when your friend attacks you
mary never once have I seen you do that.

Some days i really like you, some days i wanna push you in front of a bus.
this was definitely for shane

You're such a boring texter that I can predict what you're going to say next.
...I can't even

If two people are happy together, then leave them to it. It's THEIR lives.
oh. my. god.

If I had sex as often as I got screwed I'd be very happy! :D
I think I'm running out of wittiness.

B e s t f r i e n d s has 11 letters and so do b a c k s t a b b e r so which u gonna be?
I just love this one. count the grammar mistakes and all-around failures.

Facebook needs a "fuck you" button
like you'd ever press it?

I want an honest relationship. No secrets. No lies. No cheating. :)
this must be for shane too

Some days I really like you ♥ some days I wanna push you in front of a bus.
wait, wait, didn't I juuuust see this somewhere? oh right.

"are you mad," "no," "ok ur deffinatly mad"
know who needs this one? ava.

Every women deserves a man who looks at her every day like it's the first time he saw her
every women

if you like her, JUST TELL HER
shanetastic. mary, you are so passive-aggressive. wait, is everyone at this table a champion passive-aggressive insulter? well, shit, there's my problem!

Im a girl but I rather hang out with boys because it is less drama!!!!
is that why you're going to an all-girls school

i saw you, i wanted you, i liked you, i got you, i have you, i love you.
stop kidding yourself, mary.

i trusted you, my fault
it just occurred to me how strange it is that she never expresses any kind of strong feeling of resentment outside of all these pages.

Only for YOU, would I drop everything to answer a text.
say it with me everyone... shane

I'll marry you someday. I guarantee it :)
when I figure out who this is about.. oh right, I already know

YES my status was about you, and YES you were ment 2 see it..
this would be great if she posted statuses beyond things like "Is watching the runaways!!!! :D"

I hate it when i wanna listen to music but i cant find a song to satisfy my need
that would be because you listen to lady gaga and not too much else

press like....... if your bored right now :/
hey I have a song for this! NEW... TOWN!

Wait..WHAT! you liked me? : Why didn't you tell me.. i liked you to!
jesus I'm getting tired of the shane ones

When I Miss you, I re-read our old conversations and smile. :')
the sad thing is she admits she does this. she has told us all that she does. drama is fun.

sometimes love means letting go when you want to hold on tighter...
YOU'RE SIXTEEN YEARS OLD oh my GOD

I helped you through the hardest times, and now i'm nothing to you?
I'm not even going to bother.

finally, she liked these two within a couple days or so. they are fantastic. sadly, both the links are broken, but trust me that I could NOT make this kind of shit up.

l i k e t h i s i f y o u r s i n q l e . :)

"q'' is NOT the same thing as "g"

are you effin' kidding me?

microsoft excel is my friend

I made a chart of my school.

we don't need you anymore!

just a warning: the title of this post has NOTHING to do with the contents.

C and I have been discussing the sleepover and the big sharefest that went on. she apparently noticed some things that I didn't. so here they are.

1) WTF Relationships
why exactly did the defunct relationship of shane & mary need to be brought up? I might as well summarize its shittiness... but yeah, it was unnecessary for it to be brought up, because now mary is once again mad. and she does not get outwardly mad easily.

the abridged tale of their relationship: for all of freshman year shane was fixated on mary. mary had a [I really want to say little lamb] boyfriend. by the time mary dumped said boyfriend, shane was already getting over her [so she says]. they went out for 3 months and mary became a creepy rrpof windup doll. shane ditched mary in favor of other pursuits [like jennifer aniston], making mary very depressed. a fucking year goes by, which is where we are NOW, and she's still depressed. fuckshitdamn. this all makes ava very angry. "YOU WERE LEADING MARY ON!!" she says.

2) She's Not A Flower
she's not a flower is a great MTX song about the terrible cliches in love songs. C has sort of adopted the phrase to explain how it is that people continually don't understand that she's uh, a person, not some kind of cutesy innocent soulless emotionless robot with suppressed homicidal and/or homosexual tendencies. it was explained... and the group didn't get it. ah well. I have faith that one day someone will snap.

3) Type 2 Drama
this... leads me to believe that ava cannot grasp simple concepts. she asked at least five times [that's a lot more than it sounds] if we wanted our friendship to DIE. she also mentioned many more times that she wants things to be like they were at the beginning of freshman year. we explained the impossibility of that every time she brought it up, and still she does not get it.
C also mentioned that she doesn't seem to understand that people get angry if you repeatedly ask "GUYS??? DO YOU WANT OUR FRIENDSHIP TO DIE???" because, as shane had pointed out to her face, nobody fucking knows how to answer that.

it's times like these that make me wonder why the hell I'm friends with these people.

I have survived

so last night was interesting. interesting by the way of "at 3 AM I fell asleep on a stuffed duck and then was awakened by shane at 8". all my predictions came true, though, except for the one about the fire.

my cat is sitting on my sketchbook [which is a graph notebook that I draw in...], so I'm doing this post without the aid of my notes from last night. [C can verify that there's a lot of shit in that notebook. more about it later.]

C's mother picked me up from the library, where I'd been working that morning, and we drove to ava's house. on the way we hit a gopher. it was a total failure on the gopher's part. we were the last people to get there because of traffic, so the festivities were already underway. and by "festivities" I mean "chopping up onions and melting cheese on them". now, I haven't seen anyone all summer. but they pretty much all look the same. ava just got her permit, mary is planning to near the end of july, and shane hasn't killed anyone on a rotary lately. accomplishment!

I called my mother right before we started watching the first harry potter movie [which was amazing to make fun of].

her: "who's there?"

me: "everyone except emma."

her: "oh, okay."

shane: "SHIT, GUYS, WE FORGOT EMMA."

well, that clears up a lot! thanks, everyone!

ava got into some kind of massive fight with her sister [they're pretty close, so her sister is like an extended member of the group]. after her sister left to go somewhere and she was unable to be distracted anymore, she literally refused to look at me. I'm sitting there thinking "what.the.fuck." oh, there was also this lovely exchange:

me: "well, I know C and I have interesting conversations at 1 in the morning."

ava: "oh yeah, you can't have interesting conversations with the rest of us at 1 in the morning."

oh god spare me.

at dinner, shane and ava had epic whispered conversations. it was not looking good, as I had reason to fear they were conspiring against me or something. after dinner, shane told me I was "pissing people off", and not to say anything "offensive". great? I decided to keep my mouth shut and just pull out my sketchbook again.

by now it was maybe 10 o'clock and shane decided to gather us all and announce that she is indeed not returning to the academy [that's a generic enough name] next year. she did, however, say that if they waive the 4-year theology requirement or have her do a year of sunday school or something, they'll let her back in senior year.

following this, up until 2 in the morning, we discussed how we all suck at maintaining Our Friendship. many good points were made. still, the blog will continue--this is going to be a commentary on how these dysfunctional people survive in school, and school does indeed create more drama... I don't know who will supply it with shane gone though. probably an emma/ava-clash-of-the-titans thing.

everyone save for C and me cried. nothing was on fire, but C did burn a stunning amount of waffles. three different types of drama were started [Ava Refuses To Look At L drama, OH MY GOD GUYS DO YOU WANT OUR FRIENDSHIP TO DIE drama, and Mary Is Still Not Over Shane Despite The Breakup Being A Year Ago drama]. our lives are a fucking soap opera. someone refused to speak [ava, though shane did pass out for reasons unknown while we were watching the first movie]. and I confused EVERYONE.

5 hours of sleep + 4 hours of bagging groceries = I am tired. goodfuckingnight.

dial tone, dial tone, dial tone

I've not been forgotten by the Gay Table, it would seem, even though no contact has been made with any of them all summer thus far.

yesterday the only non-gay member of the table (besides C and I, but I don't think we count) called me. I've known her since second grade, when she latched onto me because I was The New Kid. and she has not stopped. let's put it this way, she thinks taylor swift is punk. [edit: I was raised to know the clash et al. before I was exposed to radio disney. the term punk should not be used lightly around me until I know you actually give a shit.]

so she calls me and like any good person I mute the phone. then my good samaritan brother of course has to answer it and I am forced to talk to this girl whose only redeeming quality is a pool. I only slightly exaggerate--she can find fault with ANYTHING. or anyone. I just looked up some generic names and I think we'll call her emma.

me: "hello?"

her: "I AM SO BORED."

I detest people who do this.

me: "really. well, it's summer..."

her: "what are you doing today?"

oh jesus. "working at the library."

indignantly: "you still do that?"

"I just started three weeks ago."

"oh." FAIL.

the rest of our one-sided conversation revealed not much, except that the gayest of the gays (we'll call her shane after that l word character she babbles on about so much) still might be leaving the school next year. this has been an ongoing threat for two years or so, because not only does the family not have enough money, shane doesn't give a fuck and her grades are terrible. so it's not a surprise.

eventually she said she had to go because her neighbor, who she hates "SO MUCH!!!", was coming over to take advantage of the pool. it was pretty fucking hot yesterday.

two of The Table down, two to go. I'll talk about them when they come up.

also, justin bieber + north korea = I love the internet.

mission statement & assorted fun things

the introduction to the subject[s] of this blog:

this will be an account of a certain all-girls catholic high school. it was, like most catholic schools, formerly run by nuns; with the nuns now waning. only four still in commission. [the guitar-playing one, the one that is hitler reincarnated, the senile one, and the other senile one.]

the reason I want to do this writeup? no one has. all 50 members of each preceding class have done nothing but go on about how the classes are all so together and they LOVE the school and all this happy bullshit. don't get me wrong, I love the school and 80% of the teachers. it's the freaking student body that's the problem. I know... anyone with half a brain could figure out by now that all this teenage frickin' angst is because I'm not one of the pooooooopular kids. or because the pooooooopular kids push me down stairs or some other crap.

bullshit. let me introduce you to the three archetypes of students at this school:

1. COHH

these are the nice students. the ones who have fucktons of school spirit and volunteer six days a week [but not on sunday, since jesus disapproveth]. they are the theology teachers' favorites. and, as C [pay attention to this girl; she will show up very often] has said, they're gonna grow up and be the next generation of pure wives and godly mothers. we call them the cohh: crop of happy housewives. they make up about 75% of the student body, if only because not all of them are overtly jesus-worshipping. but they do all worship jesus in some way. [it is a catholic school, so I shouldn't be shocked at the amount of jesus. it's just that the cohh has no motives other than jesus.]

2. PVG

pvg stands for pretty vacant girl, in accordance with the sex pistols' take on the blank generation. there's no point in asking them anything worthwhile; you'll get no reply. they don't take up a lot of the population; maybe 20%. these are the dim girls whose sole focus in life is HOT GUYS WITH ABS. preferably in chick flicks. they are scarily concerned with how much shit they can fit into a fucking tiny purse. they follow trends, which makes them exciting!!!! riiiight. now this is the part where a stereotypical angst-filled teenager would be like "THEY ARE BITCHES AND I HATE THEM." but that isn't the case. since the school is so small, you really have to get along with at least some people. or they will seek you out, and try to be pretend-friends with you, and if you refuse 99% of the students will commit to making your life hell and eventually you transfer. I have avoided that: these girls honestly think I am hilarious. it baffles me too, but I figure it's better than picking baby names for fun and helping out in a youth group or something. there's one pvg who wants to pay me to follow her around and make sarcastic comments about her life. I worry about the space where her brain should be.

3. RRPOF

keep your friends close and your enemies closer. this is the lunch table I sit at: THE GAY TABLE. holy shit I hate it, but C and I are stuck there. rrpof is the wonderful typo/acronym for rainbow rainbow pants on fire, meaning those frickin' assholes who think that being gay means you're automatically hot shit and that you should rule the world. don't get me wrong, I have nothing against being gay. it's when it gets to this scary-as-hell point where it's ALL you are; say, "hi, my name's _____, and I'm a lesbian!" by way of an introduction, then you are rrpof. [it's pronounced "rrripoff!", by the way, with heavy emphasis on the r.] the fact that it's an all-girls school attracts a lot of these creepy fucks. they are a very small portion of the population, but they are there. and they're so loud that they don't let any of us forget it.

and then there's C and I. we don't even factor in on the population graph--or if you asked anyone then they'd say we'd be absorbed into the rrpof. when we clearly are not. oh well... in short, we're the geeky dorky weirdos, and the only people in the school who know what monty python was in addition to refusing lady gaga's reign of brainwashing terror.

this blog will serve as documentation of my junior year, as well as venting. I mean, it's high school. if anyone [besides C] is reading this, watch some drama unfold. by the end of the year, I hope to god I don't have one of those fucking "and then I realized they were ALL my true friends!" complexes, when I believe we've already determined otherwise. I'll try and make this shit at least slightly worth your time.

oh by the way, neither of us is gay. sorry.