WHAT THE HELL, GUYS? are you all serious? I am so not used to everyone speaking to each other in a friendly manner and nothing being on fire... christ, what is this?
last night mary called me to inform me that one of our many transfer students felt Left Out. mary knows her from middle school or something so she sits at our table, when really--she watches jersey shore and listens to the jonas brothers--she should be at a pvg table. she knows nothing of mary's shane-affair, which I find interesting. I mean, the whole school knows about it. there are like 180 people, it's not that hard to spread rumors. or facts, as the case is.
anyway I'm going to call said transfer student britney! after britney spears! [and also my annoying neighbor who thinks she can sing.] damn, I wish I could've called her mary, but my logic for calling mary mary was too good. [damn, I'll shut up.] in any case we had britney move to the middle of the lunch table so she was in the middle of all the conversations. it didn't really work, but at one point mary remarked "this is just like it was at the beginning of freshman year!" and right there I saw ava's eyes light up like she'd just gotten a bb gun on christmas. yeah yeah, dream on.
speaking of ava, I was thinking about giving her a short piece of my non-blog-related writing. before this week I hadn't given any of my writing to anyone, but then I gave c a bit of my nanowrimo piece and a short based on this song. ah... well, if it happens, she'll probably trash whatever it is anyway. I have to be careful.
OKAY THAT WAS A RAMBLE. sorry. here are some quick facts:
I'm hosting a sleepover next saturday. expect posting.
emma absences: 2
shane absences: 1
your move.
Showing posts with label pvg. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pvg. Show all posts
16.9.10
29.7.10
28.7.10
hey mtv, I'm a vapid bitch who isn't pregnant! can I still have a show?
this post is probably going to be a hefty little fucker.
last year, c and I had two different theology teachers. in the event one of them returns to torment us again, the one I had is Mrs. Babiez after her love for babies and hatred for everything that is not babies, and the one C had is the overlord of the cohh. I think she deserves the title Mrs. Theology.
Mrs. Theology has a nasty habit of telling people about her sex life and how jesus approves of this and that the church WANTS you to have sex. but she does it in a terrible way, really. she's like the stereotype of antifeminist.
Mrs. Theology also told them about how she loved the horror show that is mtv's 16 and pregnant. any sane person can see that this show is made of crap, but we are not talking about sane people here. I think she was trying to subtly hint to the cohh that, once again, their purpose in life is BABIES AND MORE BABIES, while still trying to appeal to the pvg market in that class.
so shortly before midnight last night I decided I was going to go see the facebook page for this fucker. at first all I noticed was that the whole affair reminded me of the pregnant-teenager-PSA from jhonen vasquez's JTHM, because my mind is fucked up and it was late.
edit: I will describe said PSA. it's a short comic strip about a girl named sarah who drops out of high school to raise a baby and ends up eating the baby because she has no money for food. this should clear things up, and steer weak people away from jhonen...
then I sent it to c. and we started reading the posts. what sick fun. especially considering how late it was. from aim:
L (12:17:57 AM): bonus points for the words "lingering pain"
C (12:18:04 AM): oh god
L (12:18:06 AM): I sadistically loled at your lingering pain.
C (12:19:01 AM): this makes me want to puke
L (12:19:09 AM): it should.
c points out what's wrong with this picture:
C (12:19:57 AM): but yeah. it's... seriously the whole page is about teenagers. having babies.
C (12:20:15 AM): and how amazing that is to watch.
L (12:20:17 AM): the best part of that is it's over multiple seasons! HOW THE HELL DO YOU ATTAIN MULTIPLE SEASONS OF THIS SHIT
C (12:20:19 AM): and their boyfriends.
L (12:20:28 AM): yes.
L (12:20:32 AM): and it suuuuuuuuuuucks.
C (12:20:36 AM): because having a baby totally does not hamper their love lives. you can still have multiple boyfriends a year with a baby, girlies!
then we picked some nice quotes from the statuses and answered their stupid rhetorical questions and comments.
HAHA WHAT. that's terrible. it's like they prepare themselves for this shit
stupid name, stupid question, and YES, YOU DID, NOW THE FUCKER WILL GET EPILEPSY AND DIE
I PREDICT THERE WILL BE BABIES
WHAT IN THE HELL
uhhhh
these morals are so questionable
NO. SHE CAN FORGIVE NOTHING AND SOON THERE WILL BE ANTHRAX ON HIS PILLOW
I get kind of violent at 1 in the morning
KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER
this being C's contribution
they also do this rhetorical stupid-ass question after every episode:
IT SUCKED
both of us were stunned at this one. finally C produced a response which I still find funny.
C (12:43:34 AM): oh no! drama! baby will make it better lol derp
C (12:43:43 AM): and guess what? baby does make it better! yaaaaaaaay
OH NO AN EPIDEMIC IS GOING AROUND
KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER
C (12:44:59 AM): back.. labor?
L (12:45:01 AM): CONGRATUALTIONS SAMANTHA YOU DESERVE A PRIZE
C (12:45:03 AM): uh... anatomy fail
NO, IT DOESN'T EXIST. I DO BELIEVE IN JESUS. I DO! I DO!
............................................what
C (12:51:55 AM): because coexisting is impossible.
C (12:51:57 AM): baby makes you good.
this is the first time they EVER acknowledge that babies are a fucking lot of work. the rest is seriously about their fucking boyfriends and their awesome lives as lolderp teenagers with babiez.
L (12:55:04 AM): NO WAIT WAIT I NEED MY SUNGLASSES FOR THIS
C (12:55:06 AM): no. I will never be ready
after that it kind of degenerated into "go die" as a response to everything. but yeah, so... hypothesis: this show is stupid. conclusion: this show sucks and I hope to see it face down in a quagmire...
last year, c and I had two different theology teachers. in the event one of them returns to torment us again, the one I had is Mrs. Babiez after her love for babies and hatred for everything that is not babies, and the one C had is the overlord of the cohh. I think she deserves the title Mrs. Theology.
Mrs. Theology has a nasty habit of telling people about her sex life and how jesus approves of this and that the church WANTS you to have sex. but she does it in a terrible way, really. she's like the stereotype of antifeminist.
Mrs. Theology also told them about how she loved the horror show that is mtv's 16 and pregnant. any sane person can see that this show is made of crap, but we are not talking about sane people here. I think she was trying to subtly hint to the cohh that, once again, their purpose in life is BABIES AND MORE BABIES, while still trying to appeal to the pvg market in that class.
so shortly before midnight last night I decided I was going to go see the facebook page for this fucker. at first all I noticed was that the whole affair reminded me of the pregnant-teenager-PSA from jhonen vasquez's JTHM, because my mind is fucked up and it was late.
edit: I will describe said PSA. it's a short comic strip about a girl named sarah who drops out of high school to raise a baby and ends up eating the baby because she has no money for food. this should clear things up, and steer weak people away from jhonen...
then I sent it to c. and we started reading the posts. what sick fun. especially considering how late it was. from aim:
L (12:17:57 AM): bonus points for the words "lingering pain"
C (12:18:04 AM): oh god
L (12:18:06 AM): I sadistically loled at your lingering pain.
C (12:19:01 AM): this makes me want to puke
L (12:19:09 AM): it should.
c points out what's wrong with this picture:
C (12:19:57 AM): but yeah. it's... seriously the whole page is about teenagers. having babies.
C (12:20:15 AM): and how amazing that is to watch.
L (12:20:17 AM): the best part of that is it's over multiple seasons! HOW THE HELL DO YOU ATTAIN MULTIPLE SEASONS OF THIS SHIT
C (12:20:19 AM): and their boyfriends.
L (12:20:28 AM): yes.
L (12:20:32 AM): and it suuuuuuuuuuucks.
C (12:20:36 AM): because having a baby totally does not hamper their love lives. you can still have multiple boyfriends a year with a baby, girlies!
then we picked some nice quotes from the statuses and answered their stupid rhetorical questions and comments.
See which 16 & Pregnant mom already had their baby's names picked out!
HAHA WHAT. that's terrible. it's like they prepare themselves for this shit
Did Nicole and Tyler move Brooklyn around too much?
stupid name, stupid question, and YES, YOU DID, NOW THE FUCKER WILL GET EPILEPSY AND DIE
The Season 2 Finale & Reunion show are tonight!?! Any predictions?
I PREDICT THERE WILL BE BABIES
Nicole's slumber party is unexpectedly cut short when labor pains strike.
WHAT IN THE HELL
Do you understand Cory's reluctance to visit Aiden? Or do you think he's wasting valuable time watching his son grow up?
uhhhh
these morals are so questionable
She's 16, pregnant & heartbroken. Can Lizzie forgive her baby's father for cheating?
NO. SHE CAN FORGIVE NOTHING AND SOON THERE WILL BE ANTHRAX ON HIS PILLOW
I get kind of violent at 1 in the morning
Is it really that hard to walk away from a toxic relationship? What would you do if you were in Chelsea's shoes?
KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER
this being C's contribution
they also do this rhetorical stupid-ass question after every episode:
What did you think of Nicole's story?
IT SUCKED
Chelsea's caught up with her social life and fighting with boyfriend, Adam. She thinks things will get better after giving birth, but instead learns she can choose her daughter above everything.
both of us were stunned at this one. finally C produced a response which I still find funny.
C (12:43:34 AM): oh no! drama! baby will make it better lol derp
C (12:43:43 AM): and guess what? baby does make it better! yaaaaaaaay
Samantha's good girl image fades when she discovers she's pregnant-- and so is her mother.
OH NO AN EPIDEMIC IS GOING AROUND
Chelsea's boyfriend Adam barely helps with their newborn baby.
KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER
Samantha endures painful back labor in tonight's '16 & Pregnant'.
C (12:44:59 AM): back.. labor?
L (12:45:01 AM): CONGRATUALTIONS SAMANTHA YOU DESERVE A PRIZE
C (12:45:03 AM): uh... anatomy fail
Do you believe in abortion?
NO, IT DOESN'T EXIST. I DO BELIEVE IN JESUS. I DO! I DO!
Did Farrah let her mother down by becoming a G.I.L.F?
............................................what
Didn't Get A Chance To Witness Amber's Transformation From a Rebel to a Mother?
C (12:51:55 AM): because coexisting is impossible.
C (12:51:57 AM): baby makes you good.
OMG!! The Baby Won't Let Her Sleep!!...
this is the first time they EVER acknowledge that babies are a fucking lot of work. the rest is seriously about their fucking boyfriends and their awesome lives as lolderp teenagers with babiez.
ARE YOU READY FOR THE SEASON 2 PREMIERE ON FEB 16th?!?
L (12:55:04 AM): NO WAIT WAIT I NEED MY SUNGLASSES FOR THIS
C (12:55:06 AM): no. I will never be ready
after that it kind of degenerated into "go die" as a response to everything. but yeah, so... hypothesis: this show is stupid. conclusion: this show sucks and I hope to see it face down in a quagmire...
2.7.10
mission statement & assorted fun things
the introduction to the subject[s] of this blog:
this will be an account of a certain all-girls catholic high school. it was, like most catholic schools, formerly run by nuns; with the nuns now waning. only four still in commission. [the guitar-playing one, the one that is hitler reincarnated, the senile one, and the other senile one.]
the reason I want to do this writeup? no one has. all 50 members of each preceding class have done nothing but go on about how the classes are all so together and they LOVE the school and all this happy bullshit. don't get me wrong, I love the school and 80% of the teachers. it's the freaking student body that's the problem. I know... anyone with half a brain could figure out by now that all this teenage frickin' angst is because I'm not one of the pooooooopular kids. or because the pooooooopular kids push me down stairs or some other crap.
bullshit. let me introduce you to the three archetypes of students at this school:
1. COHH
these are the nice students. the ones who have fucktons of school spirit and volunteer six days a week [but not on sunday, since jesus disapproveth]. they are the theology teachers' favorites. and, as C [pay attention to this girl; she will show up very often] has said, they're gonna grow up and be the next generation of pure wives and godly mothers. we call them the cohh: crop of happy housewives. they make up about 75% of the student body, if only because not all of them are overtly jesus-worshipping. but they do all worship jesus in some way. [it is a catholic school, so I shouldn't be shocked at the amount of jesus. it's just that the cohh has no motives other than jesus.]
2. PVG
pvg stands for pretty vacant girl, in accordance with the sex pistols' take on the blank generation. there's no point in asking them anything worthwhile; you'll get no reply. they don't take up a lot of the population; maybe 20%. these are the dim girls whose sole focus in life is HOT GUYS WITH ABS. preferably in chick flicks. they are scarily concerned with how much shit they can fit into a fucking tiny purse. they follow trends, which makes them exciting!!!! riiiight. now this is the part where a stereotypical angst-filled teenager would be like "THEY ARE BITCHES AND I HATE THEM." but that isn't the case. since the school is so small, you really have to get along with at least some people. or they will seek you out, and try to be pretend-friends with you, and if you refuse 99% of the students will commit to making your life hell and eventually you transfer. I have avoided that: these girls honestly think I am hilarious. it baffles me too, but I figure it's better than picking baby names for fun and helping out in a youth group or something. there's one pvg who wants to pay me to follow her around and make sarcastic comments about her life. I worry about the space where her brain should be.
3. RRPOF
keep your friends close and your enemies closer. this is the lunch table I sit at: THE GAY TABLE. holy shit I hate it, but C and I are stuck there. rrpof is the wonderful typo/acronym for rainbow rainbow pants on fire, meaning those frickin' assholes who think that being gay means you're automatically hot shit and that you should rule the world. don't get me wrong, I have nothing against being gay. it's when it gets to this scary-as-hell point where it's ALL you are; say, "hi, my name's _____, and I'm a lesbian!" by way of an introduction, then you are rrpof. [it's pronounced "rrripoff!", by the way, with heavy emphasis on the r.] the fact that it's an all-girls school attracts a lot of these creepy fucks. they are a very small portion of the population, but they are there. and they're so loud that they don't let any of us forget it.
and then there's C and I. we don't even factor in on the population graph--or if you asked anyone then they'd say we'd be absorbed into the rrpof. when we clearly are not. oh well... in short, we're the geeky dorky weirdos, and the only people in the school who know what monty python was in addition to refusing lady gaga's reign of brainwashing terror.
this blog will serve as documentation of my junior year, as well as venting. I mean, it's high school. if anyone [besides C] is reading this, watch some drama unfold. by the end of the year, I hope to god I don't have one of those fucking "and then I realized they were ALL my true friends!" complexes, when I believe we've already determined otherwise. I'll try and make this shit at least slightly worth your time.
oh by the way, neither of us is gay. sorry.
this will be an account of a certain all-girls catholic high school. it was, like most catholic schools, formerly run by nuns; with the nuns now waning. only four still in commission. [the guitar-playing one, the one that is hitler reincarnated, the senile one, and the other senile one.]
the reason I want to do this writeup? no one has. all 50 members of each preceding class have done nothing but go on about how the classes are all so together and they LOVE the school and all this happy bullshit. don't get me wrong, I love the school and 80% of the teachers. it's the freaking student body that's the problem. I know... anyone with half a brain could figure out by now that all this teenage frickin' angst is because I'm not one of the pooooooopular kids. or because the pooooooopular kids push me down stairs or some other crap.
bullshit. let me introduce you to the three archetypes of students at this school:
1. COHH
these are the nice students. the ones who have fucktons of school spirit and volunteer six days a week [but not on sunday, since jesus disapproveth]. they are the theology teachers' favorites. and, as C [pay attention to this girl; she will show up very often] has said, they're gonna grow up and be the next generation of pure wives and godly mothers. we call them the cohh: crop of happy housewives. they make up about 75% of the student body, if only because not all of them are overtly jesus-worshipping. but they do all worship jesus in some way. [it is a catholic school, so I shouldn't be shocked at the amount of jesus. it's just that the cohh has no motives other than jesus.]
2. PVG
pvg stands for pretty vacant girl, in accordance with the sex pistols' take on the blank generation. there's no point in asking them anything worthwhile; you'll get no reply. they don't take up a lot of the population; maybe 20%. these are the dim girls whose sole focus in life is HOT GUYS WITH ABS. preferably in chick flicks. they are scarily concerned with how much shit they can fit into a fucking tiny purse. they follow trends, which makes them exciting!!!! riiiight. now this is the part where a stereotypical angst-filled teenager would be like "THEY ARE BITCHES AND I HATE THEM." but that isn't the case. since the school is so small, you really have to get along with at least some people. or they will seek you out, and try to be pretend-friends with you, and if you refuse 99% of the students will commit to making your life hell and eventually you transfer. I have avoided that: these girls honestly think I am hilarious. it baffles me too, but I figure it's better than picking baby names for fun and helping out in a youth group or something. there's one pvg who wants to pay me to follow her around and make sarcastic comments about her life. I worry about the space where her brain should be.
3. RRPOF
keep your friends close and your enemies closer. this is the lunch table I sit at: THE GAY TABLE. holy shit I hate it, but C and I are stuck there. rrpof is the wonderful typo/acronym for rainbow rainbow pants on fire, meaning those frickin' assholes who think that being gay means you're automatically hot shit and that you should rule the world. don't get me wrong, I have nothing against being gay. it's when it gets to this scary-as-hell point where it's ALL you are; say, "hi, my name's _____, and I'm a lesbian!" by way of an introduction, then you are rrpof. [it's pronounced "rrripoff!", by the way, with heavy emphasis on the r.] the fact that it's an all-girls school attracts a lot of these creepy fucks. they are a very small portion of the population, but they are there. and they're so loud that they don't let any of us forget it.
and then there's C and I. we don't even factor in on the population graph--or if you asked anyone then they'd say we'd be absorbed into the rrpof. when we clearly are not. oh well... in short, we're the geeky dorky weirdos, and the only people in the school who know what monty python was in addition to refusing lady gaga's reign of brainwashing terror.
this blog will serve as documentation of my junior year, as well as venting. I mean, it's high school. if anyone [besides C] is reading this, watch some drama unfold. by the end of the year, I hope to god I don't have one of those fucking "and then I realized they were ALL my true friends!" complexes, when I believe we've already determined otherwise. I'll try and make this shit at least slightly worth your time.
oh by the way, neither of us is gay. sorry.
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