last year, c and I had two different theology teachers. in the event one of them returns to torment us again, the one I had is Mrs. Babiez after her love for babies and hatred for everything that is not babies, and the one C had is the overlord of the cohh. I think she deserves the title Mrs. Theology.
Mrs. Theology has a nasty habit of telling people about her sex life and how jesus approves of this and that the church WANTS you to have sex. but she does it in a terrible way, really. she's like the stereotype of antifeminist.
Mrs. Theology also told them about how she loved the horror show that is mtv's 16 and pregnant. any sane person can see that this show is made of crap, but we are not talking about sane people here. I think she was trying to subtly hint to the cohh that, once again, their purpose in life is BABIES AND MORE BABIES, while still trying to appeal to the pvg market in that class.
so shortly before midnight last night I decided I was going to go see the facebook page for this fucker. at first all I noticed was that the whole affair reminded me of the pregnant-teenager-PSA from jhonen vasquez's JTHM, because my mind is fucked up and it was late.
edit: I will describe said PSA. it's a short comic strip about a girl named sarah who drops out of high school to raise a baby and ends up eating the baby because she has no money for food. this should clear things up, and steer weak people away from jhonen...
then I sent it to c. and we started reading the posts. what sick fun. especially considering how late it was. from aim:
L (12:17:57 AM): bonus points for the words "lingering pain"
C (12:18:04 AM): oh god
L (12:18:06 AM): I sadistically loled at your lingering pain.
C (12:19:01 AM): this makes me want to puke
L (12:19:09 AM): it should.
c points out what's wrong with this picture:
C (12:19:57 AM): but yeah. it's... seriously the whole page is about teenagers. having babies.
C (12:20:15 AM): and how amazing that is to watch.
L (12:20:17 AM): the best part of that is it's over multiple seasons! HOW THE HELL DO YOU ATTAIN MULTIPLE SEASONS OF THIS SHIT
C (12:20:19 AM): and their boyfriends.
L (12:20:28 AM): yes.
L (12:20:32 AM): and it suuuuuuuuuuucks.
C (12:20:36 AM): because having a baby totally does not hamper their love lives. you can still have multiple boyfriends a year with a baby, girlies!
then we picked some nice quotes from the statuses and answered their stupid rhetorical questions and comments.
See which 16 & Pregnant mom already had their baby's names picked out!
HAHA WHAT. that's terrible. it's like they prepare themselves for this shit
Did Nicole and Tyler move Brooklyn around too much?
stupid name, stupid question, and YES, YOU DID, NOW THE FUCKER WILL GET EPILEPSY AND DIE
The Season 2 Finale & Reunion show are tonight!?! Any predictions?
I PREDICT THERE WILL BE BABIES
Nicole's slumber party is unexpectedly cut short when labor pains strike.
WHAT IN THE HELL
Do you understand Cory's reluctance to visit Aiden? Or do you think he's wasting valuable time watching his son grow up?
uhhhh
these morals are so questionable
She's 16, pregnant & heartbroken. Can Lizzie forgive her baby's father for cheating?
NO. SHE CAN FORGIVE NOTHING AND SOON THERE WILL BE ANTHRAX ON HIS PILLOW
I get kind of violent at 1 in the morning
Is it really that hard to walk away from a toxic relationship? What would you do if you were in Chelsea's shoes?
KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER
this being C's contribution
they also do this rhetorical stupid-ass question after every episode:
What did you think of Nicole's story?
IT SUCKED
Chelsea's caught up with her social life and fighting with boyfriend, Adam. She thinks things will get better after giving birth, but instead learns she can choose her daughter above everything.
both of us were stunned at this one. finally C produced a response which I still find funny.
C (12:43:34 AM): oh no! drama! baby will make it better lol derp
C (12:43:43 AM): and guess what? baby does make it better! yaaaaaaaay
Samantha's good girl image fades when she discovers she's pregnant-- and so is her mother.
OH NO AN EPIDEMIC IS GOING AROUND
Chelsea's boyfriend Adam barely helps with their newborn baby.
KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER
Samantha endures painful back labor in tonight's '16 & Pregnant'.
C (12:44:59 AM): back.. labor?
L (12:45:01 AM): CONGRATUALTIONS SAMANTHA YOU DESERVE A PRIZE
C (12:45:03 AM): uh... anatomy fail
Do you believe in abortion?
NO, IT DOESN'T EXIST. I DO BELIEVE IN JESUS. I DO! I DO!
Did Farrah let her mother down by becoming a G.I.L.F?
............................................what
Didn't Get A Chance To Witness Amber's Transformation From a Rebel to a Mother?
C (12:51:55 AM): because coexisting is impossible.
C (12:51:57 AM): baby makes you good.
OMG!! The Baby Won't Let Her Sleep!!...
this is the first time they EVER acknowledge that babies are a fucking lot of work. the rest is seriously about their fucking boyfriends and their awesome lives as lolderp teenagers with babiez.
ARE YOU READY FOR THE SEASON 2 PREMIERE ON FEB 16th?!?
L (12:55:04 AM): NO WAIT WAIT I NEED MY SUNGLASSES FOR THIS
C (12:55:06 AM): no. I will never be ready
after that it kind of degenerated into "go die" as a response to everything. but yeah, so... hypothesis: this show is stupid. conclusion: this show sucks and I hope to see it face down in a quagmire...
Not condoning the show's so called hype, (never watched it so can't comment on that part but I agree, it sounds like a waste of airspace) but "Back labor" is real. And REALLY painful. (voice of experience) I had it with my daughter and it was misery x100 over regular labor. It is just a way to describe when the baby is coming out face up rather than face down, so the back of the baby's head is pressing against the spinal nerves. It messes you up all ways to Tuesday.
ReplyDeleteah! thank you for clearing that up. it was 1 am and c and I both thought it seemed feasible that mtv could make things up. and it sounds painful...
ReplyDelete